Suddenly, I'm craving oatmeal

I was finally able to skype with my aunt, who had gone over to my mom's house this past weekend. And what do I do? I make fun of her. She was wearing her glasses because she couldn't get her contacts in due to some eye issues. Instead of being caring and nice, I gave her shit about wearing glasses. BUT before you judge me, you have to know. Her glasses were HUGE!! Like... 1982 called and wants those glasses back! So then I told her that she was wearing the same glasses in her senior picture from high school. My mom just happened to have it near by and pulled it out. Yeah.... same glasses. Same size. Her defense was that the frames back then were plastic. Sorry, it still counts. Same glasses. I am such a horrible person. 

If you are still reading, I just have to tell you.... this entry is full of randomness. Read on if you dare.

So this one time, at band camp... Ok, so NOT at band camp, but a while ago, I had a very serious disease. This disease is known as...... chickenpox. Please talk amongst yourselves while I sob. Anyway, I had the pox. And you know how they say that it is soothing to the pox to soak in oats? Well, I was miserable (and I'm pretty sure my mom was willing to try anything to shut her bitching kid up) so my mom decided to draw me a bath (Why is it called "drawing" a bath??).

 Yeah, I am a MASTER at paint.

Any who....  my mom filled the tub and added some oatmeal. Yep. We had a bathtub full of oatmeal. You know how some people make moonshine/alcohol in their bathtub? It was kind of like that except instead of something good, our bathtub was filled with oatmeal.... probably the brown sugar kind cuz that's the only kind I'll eat. She probably used the whole box. So that's what... 8 packets? That ratio sounds about right. 8 packets= bathtub. What a waste, because I took 1 look at it, dipped my big toe in, shuddered, and told her that there was no way I'm getting in that. We ended up eating oatmeal out of the bathtub for a week.

All this talk about food has me hungry.... for some jello. But take it from me- an accomplished chef/baker that making jello is a dangerous activity! You might be thinking, "Jello is the easiest thing to make" or "My 2 year old isn't allowed to touch the stove, but I make an exception when he wants to make jello". I advise you AGAINST this! Let them play with matches instead! I was making some jello for Easter one year. I was stirring it when I heard the microwave go off. I went and leaned on the glass top of our stove and burned the entire length of the side of my hand. Damn jello. Looks so innocent and delicious. FALSE! It is a MONSTER. A sick, masochistic, demon. Watch out jello, we are on to you. 

A very useful blog for you tonight! Let's recap what we have learned:

• 70's- 80's glasses are a fashion DON'T
• 8 packets of oatmeal= 1 bathtub
• I kick ass in Paint
• Jello is the spawn of Satan 

Hope you enjoyed the post! Thanks to Jenny for the inspiration! If anyone else has something interesting to contribute, let me know! Thanks for reading.