I Can Hear the Bells

Hey there readers of this awesome blog! Do you like the new layout and design of my blog? Well, if you don't you can just go suck it! But seriously- if you see something that needs to be corrected, please let me know... I don't want to look like a fool! Well..... look like an even bigger fool! I wanted to find a more sophisticated design that was a better representation of me and what I wanted this blog to be. So what better than pink and colorful watercolors blending into one another. You could say that the colors running into each other is each and every story I tell that, when finished, complete a bigger picture that makes up my life. Ok, was that corny enough for you? I picked it because I liked the colors and it was more sophisticated than hummingbirds. But that crap about the colors and junk was actually pretty good, huh! So what shall we talk about today? A friend of mine sent me a link to another blog which was absolutely hilarious with stories and her drawings that illustrated her stories. Most of them were about her "slow" dog. There were some pretty funny things about that dog that seemed to be just like my old dog, Lucy. So that's where we will start. I think I owe you a good, funny story over those emotional ramblings! Here goes.

My dog Lucy was very... whats the word I'm looking for.... special. Don't get me wrong. She was the best companion and loved us with her entire soul and heart. She was always fed (sometimes she even got people food!), she had an abundance of toys, she had multiple beds to call her own (including the human beds), and as much as we tried to keep her off the furniture she was still able to claim a chair of her own. What a life for a dog, huh! Living in the lap of luxury! Despite all these perks in life, she still felt the need to try and escape every single time she was let outside. Yep. Escape. You see, at our old house, we had a fenced in yard but there were certain spots in the fence that Lucy knew of and she could easily slip through them. Because of this sad and unfortunate truth, she had to be on a chain when left outside alone. When we were outside and watching her, she could run around free but you had to make sure she stayed away from those vulnerable spots in the fence. And if you haven't read my other blogs, you should know that the second Lucy slipped through that fence hole, it was like she left her brain in the yard. All commands she had learned were non-existent (including come and stop!) as well as her name. That's right. You could chase her yelling "Come Lucy!!" or "Stop Lucy!!" or the last resort which the neighbors often heard when she got out "TREAT!!". It was like she was completely oblivious to everything. The only way we could get her back was if my dad would shake the green tin we kept her treats in. The hopes of this being that she would want a treat and come to get one. That or we would pile in the car to chase her and when we found her, we would open the door yelling "Wanna go bye-bye in the car?". Hoping to entice her for a ride! The whole process was very traumatic for me because the situation usually played out like this: Lucy would get out. I would cry because I knew how she acted beyond the fenced yard of safety. My mom would get pissed and say "Well, I'm not going after her. I guess she is gone forever". I would cry more because I loved her and wanted her back. Dad would reluctantly grab the tin of treats and her leash. He would begin the chase. Lucy was in the lead, followed by an irate balding fat man, who was then subsequently followed by a wailing child who, through sobs, would shout what ever my dad had just shouted. After lord knows how long, we would finally catch her. I would be happy. Dad would be tired. Mom would be embarrassed. She was a little shit in times like that, but we loved her. She also provided some amazing entertainment.

 

The three of us would chase each other through the neighborhood... not by choice...

 

So this next story happened when I was quite young, but still makes me laugh when ever I tell it or hear the story. I first have to tell you about my Aunt (my dad's sister) who had come for a visit. She had rheumatoid arthritis and required assistance in most aspects of her daily life. Walking was no exception. She was not as steady as you or I would be and was more prone to falling than the average person. That being said, you also need to know that Lucy loved to run really really fast around the outer perimeter of the yard. She would take multiple laps without stopping. I don't know how else to describe it, but it was hilarious (Elvis does a similar thing in the house! Sooo funny!).  Well if you are smart, you can probably put 2 and 2 together, but let me help those of you that are a little slower. My Aunt and Uncle decided to stop by for a visit and the were entering our yard. Lucy got really excited so she began to take her speedy laps around the yard. My aunt was walking in front of my uncle and when Lucy raced by her at the speed of light, she was startled and began her decent. Yep, she began to fall over. But due to the arthritis, she couldn't really brace herself so she fell like an old, dead tree! She landed on her side and could not get up. Before anyone had the chance to help her up, Lucy completed her laps and was so excited to see my aunt that she ran and stood on top of her like a mountain lion. Yeah. She stood on top of her, like she had just won a prize and was wagging her tail. She was just so happy that someone had come down to her level to play with her! Now, my mom was utterly shocked, mortified, and appalled. What did dad do? You guessed it! He started laughing! Ah, the king of inappropriate laughter! (Now you know where I get it!). You may be wondering about my uncle. Well, he started laughing, too! What else COULD he do, but laugh? Well, in retrospect he could have helped her up faster. When mom tells the story, she says that Aunt Marie was laying on the ground for a while. All I can think is, well YEAH she was laying there for a while! Everyone was too busy laughing at her!! Eventually my dad and my uncle helped her up. Of course they were laughing the entire time, but Lucy wasn't on top of her anymore and she wasn't on the ground. All in all it left us with a great story! Oh yeah, Aunt Marie was just fine, too! I wish we had pictures of that day! Lucy was a source of entertainment if nothing else!

My rendition of what went down that day! (I'm not good with paint on my computer- DON'T JUDGE ME!)

So there you go folks! A wonderful story to pass along to all your friends! I hope you have enjoyed reading these stories as much as I have enjoyed sharing them with you! As always, I thank you for taking the time to read what I write! Also, I am more than willing to cover any topics that you would like to suggest!! AND for those of you that would like to share these stories, I have added a "Share" gadget on the bottom of all my blogs, so click that button to share this on facebook and/or twitter! Thanks my little pinkettes!

Two little shits for the price of one!