Many people have approached me today and asked when the next "installment" would be in. Well, here it is. The wait is over!!! I can already hear the applause!! ;-) I'm sure you are wondering what the topic of this entry is about and I wish I could give you a clear answer. Truth is, there are several things to be addressed here today. Regrets, loss, friends.... all of these wonderful topics or categories would fit.
I suppose this story should begin in grade school. It was there that I met the girl that I would call my best friend. We were the only two who were not.... how do I say this..... athletic. We were not on the volleyball team or basketball team or whatever team. We did everything together and laughed and laughed and laughed! We had our own inside jokes and we knew what each other was thinking with a single look. We had the best times. Now this story continues into high school. We remained the best of friends and did a lot with each other. We talked and, most importantly, laughed everyday. We would be bummed when we didn't have a class with each other but we always made plans to meet up at some point during the day. As we got older, our library of inside jokes continued to grow and grow. Before I knew it, senior year was coming to a close and I noticed things starting to change. One day, I was shunned by my group of friends that I had known since grade school. I was completely confused as to why and no one would talk to me to tell me why I was no longer a part of the friendship circle. This hurt alot. Imagine friends that you have known for over 10 years and they just turn their backs on you. Tough, right? Yeah, I know. I was there. I tried numerous times to ask my best friend why this was happening and got no response. I tried and tried and tried but it was evident that she didn't want to try. She was willing to throw away our friendship and not only was I sad, but I was angry that after all we had been through, she didn't want to try and resolve the issues. So there I was, the friends that I had grown up with had turned their backs on me. I am just so thankful for the other friends that I had made throughout high school that I was able to turn to. AND this made my friendships even deeper with them because they were able to see how hurt losing friends made me. So graduation came and went and it was time for the senior lock-in. If you didn't go to CDH and are wondering what the lock-in was - it was after the graduation ceremony and we spent the night locked in the school with fun activities. Any who. So at the lock-in I was surprised when one friend approached me. She apologized and I apologized and then we cried and hugged! I have to give her alot of credit. It took a lot of courage to do that while the others stood watching and waiting for her to come back. I know she is reading this and she knows who she is. I just want to take this opportunity to tell you that you will never know how much that meant to me- and still means a lot to me today!! I am so glad we made up and I consider you one of my best friends!! Love ya girl! Ok, so where was I.... ah yes. The lock-in. That was by far the best part of the lock-in. It also hurt to see the person who I had considered my best friend just stand there and not look at me.
From that day until now, we haven't spoken or seen each other. Now, I am not putting all the blame on her. I can't stress this enough! I admit that there were things that I did and said as well. We each did things to each other that were not right and we were BOTH in the wrong. The only difference was that I wanted to make things right. I attempted to make things right but all of those efforts were shot down.
So fast forward to the present day. How do I feel about it now? For a while after, I was quite angry. Angry at the fact that she could just turn her back on our friendship. Angry that after all we had been through, that she couldn't talk to me about it. But that was then. This is now. Now, I am no longer angry. Rather, I am sad. I'm sad because we had such a great friendship. From time to time I still think about some of those inside jokes and laugh. to be honest, I miss it too! I have no hard feelings anymore and hope that she is doing what makes her happy. In addition, I hope she has made friends as good as the friends I have made. I strongly believe that everything happens for a reason and I am so blessed to have made such wonderful friends in college. I love you guys so much! :-) Ok that's enough mushy crap for today!
As always, thanks for reading!!
P.S. I have been approached by many people today telling me how much they enjoy reading my blog and I just have to say that you guys make me feel like a celebrity!! THANKS SOO MUCH!!! :-D
I have to say, so far this is one of my favorite post. It explains the questions that I had to how and why you lost your friends without me forcing it out of you. haahah. I completely understand what you're going through. My stories a bit different but it has the same concepts. You're awesome, keep going!
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