Happiness isn't happiness without a violin playing goat!

I have been thinking about doing this post for a while now. After watching Notting Hill with my lovely roommate Lisa, I finally have the courage to write it. Remember the goal of my blog- HONESTY. So the topic of this entry is my love life- or lack there of.... you can decide. So for all of you reading this- guys in particular- I'm single! (I know, I know- hard to believe!! So here's your chance!).

Let me start off by saying that my dating life has resembled a string of classic 80's movies. One in particular is Sixteen Candles. Remember that one? If you aren't familiar, the main character Sam is basically forgotten by her family and guys don't even look her way. With the exception of an annoying dork. But the wonderful thing is that at the end, Sam gets the guy that she has a crush on. She gets her Jake Ryan. So I'm sure you are asking yourself "How is her life like Sixteen Candles?". Well, here goes. In high school I had my fair share of crushes on some of the guys and none ever paid attention to me. To be frank, I wasn't that confident and didn't think that any of the guys would even want to talk to me, let alone take me out on a date. So basically, I went through high school, pining away and not a word was spoken. My story has a different ending though. I didn't get my Jake Ryan.... oh well C'est la vie. But not really. I hate the regrets. I hate thinking "Well, what if I had just a little bit more confidence back then" or "What would have happened if I had just asked him out?". So there it is. My regrets. No more. I'm tired of looking back on my life saying I wish or what if. This is what this blog is helping me to do, be honest with myself and others. So later on, I might just tell you who I have "crushes" on. Not by name.... that would be horribly embarrassing for both me and the other people. I'll give you hints, large hints, and you can just guess. (P.S. I HATE the word crush. It makes me sound like a 12 year old girl. Instead I will use "interest" as in I am interested in getting to know them. Haha!). Moving on.....

So that was high school. Graduation came and went and here I am, still single. Ah, but college was just around the corner. That's where like EVERYONE meets there spouse right? Yeah, that's what I thought too. Until I remembered that I was attending an all girls college.... CRAP!! So what did I do? I joined a sorority with the hopes that I could meet a guy through a fraternity (That's not the ONLY reason I joined....hmmm... perhaps that's a topic for another entry). Yes, there were a few frat boys... emphasis on the BOY part. There was nothing of substance and nothing that would develop into a relationship. So that was it for a while. I did recently meet someone who I thought might turn into a meaningful relationship but due to poor choices on his part, that chapter has closed. So that brings us to the present day. I am single and ready to mingle! Haha! I guess you could say that my relationship statuses have been...well....dull. But I am hoping to change that. I am taking a stand and refuse to be a timid wall hugger. I am putting myself out there and if you don't want it, well then alright. I will move on and find someone who does. I have to admit that despite what I type, the thought of rejection scares the hell out of me. But then again, I have let that fear control what I do and look at where it has gotten me!

So here goes. Another hard paragraph to begin because I don't know where to start. Currently, there are two fine gentlemen that have captured my attention. I don't know if they want it but there is only one way to find out. I will put it on the table and see where it goes. If it wasn't meant to be, then at least I won't have the regrets and wonder what if.... Take a deep breath.... here goes... So the first guy mentioned above is one of the guys from high school. He was always funny and could always make me laugh. Sad thing is, I don't remember if we ever had class together. Well, it has been four years since attending high school. Any who. He doesn't know this but one day in particular I was having a horrible day and he said hi to me and said something funny. Totally turned my day around! So if you are reading this, THANKS! So I'm sure you are wondering, "well if you were so shy and what not, how did you talk to him". The answer to that, my dear Watson, lies in locker assignments. You see, we were locker neighbors so it was hard NOT to talk to him. If you need an even bigger clue, he had the locker to my immediate right. So there you go. CALL ME ;-) One confession down. And can I just say that my heart is pounding and my hands are cold. You have NO IDEA how hard it is for me to be this honest. Well that is one down. One to go. So this next confession is no surprise. In fact I am about 98.9999% sure that he knows I "fancy" him. The only thing is he hasn't heard it straight from me.... at least I don't think so. He is older than me and I have known him for.... well... a while. I don't think I need to say too much more about this one. Just that he, too, seems to make me smile when I need it the most...... and even when I don't! So if you know I am talking about you, then, SURPRISE! You can CALL ME TOO! ;-)

So that is all I have. And the only way I can end this post is by quoting a line from Notting Hill which rings quite true in this instant, "I'm just a girl, standing in front of a boy. Asking him to love her". Be gentle with my heart!
Thanks for reading! <3