My mom was always trying to get me to do stuff and not just be a lump. Now, I liked playing outside and having fun, but the concept of organized sports and interacting with other people didn't exactly thrill me. Even at the age of five. For several years, I was in tumbling/gymnastics classes, but that didn't last too long. I think maybe 3 or 4 years. To tell you the truth, I only stuck it out that long because at a certain performance we got to wear these arm covers with tassels. Needless to say, I'm a gal who digs tassels... of all varities if you catch my drift *boobie tassels*. It didn't help that before every performance I was hit with a crippling bought of stage fright and had to turn to my number one helper.... pepto bismol. Oh look... I just happen to have a picture of me in the outfit I stuck around for:
I certainly thought I was hot shit in the moonlight with those things on! Look at that girl work it!! I also found a picture of how serious I took my athletic ability:
There's a sexy bitch right there for ya! I'm pretty sure I still make that face! And as always, dad is laughing at my immaturity, while my mom has to be the adult!
So then there was also the summer of t-ball at palace playground. Boy, was I miserable with that one. Hot, dusty fields, screaming children, and running. Ugh. It disgusts me just thinking about it! It was terrible. I remember being the only girl on my team (which according to my mother isn't true). Maybe I was already boy crazy at that age too, and totally disregarded those other bitches. I found a picture of me from t-ball:
Don't let that smile fool you. I was very unhappy. The smile is only because right before this picture was taken, my mom said that I could quit t-ball.
So lets get to the part about balls in my face. Probably not the ones you were hoping for because you are all perverts.
I noticed that my face had a magnetic pull for all sorts of balls in grade school. It didn't matter what kind of ball or what sport it was for, the ball had an uncanny way of finding its way straight for my face. Unfortunately, I was not equipped with the cat like reflexes I have now and so my face took quite the beating (that sounded very dirty and sorry, but I'm not sorry). It mostly happened in gym class when we played kick ball. Oh yeah, and dodge ball. Now, I'm not gonna say that the other kids specifically aimed for my face, but if I was into conspiracy theories I would look into it further. Maybe they DID aim for my face. Perhaps they were just jealous of how my beauty matched my sparkling personality. Franky, I don't blame them. If I was better at throwing a ball, there are several people from grade school I wouldn't mind hitting in the face with a very sharp, spike-y ball. But I'll be the bigger person and let karma take care of that. Any who. It got to the point where I would just bench myself even if I wasn't tagged out so that I could save myself from the agony of a ball to the face. Come to think of it, I did that for a lot of "games" we played in gym. Did I mention I hate playing organized sports. BUT I do have to throw out there that I would LOVE to watch a boyfriend play *insert any sport here*!! Nothing hotter than a man taking a ball or puck to the face! Wait, what? Never mind.
I guess it's not just balls that have an attraction to my face because there was that one time with the shoe. We were playing kick ball and I'm pretty sure I was either in line to kick or up to kick when out of nowhere someones shoe comes flying at me. I was pretty used to flying object coming towards my head at this point and was able to duck out of the way before it hit my face. It still baffles me how it wasn't me in the outfield (I don't even know if I'm using these terms correctly) trying to catch the ball that was being kicked and instead their shoe flies off. Like, why was it when I was up to kick. I guess that's another one for those of you that are into conspiracy theories.
Ok, and here comes my rant portion of the blog. Why were people SO competitive in school. Really? Calm down! It's a frickin' GYM class!! The world isn't gonna end because I didn't catch that kick ball after it hit me in the face. I think that's part of the reason I hated gym/sports so much. I hated the competition. The only competition I like is FRIENDLY competition. Not the kind where I get yelled at for "not trying hard enough". Bitch please. I'll play as hard as I want. And frankly, this game of badminton is not on a priority.
